Odds are this has happened to you… Pushing your trolley round the supermarket, you find somebody else's handwritten shopping list discarded within it. Perhaps left littered loosely or snug tight in the little clipboard.

Milk. Eggs. Bread. is a gallery featuring 500 of them (below are 401 to 500) each given a unique humorous story. All persons, events, and institutions are fictitious so any resemblance is coincidental. Adult themes are explored and it is best enjoyed on a desktop.

401. Amber brought home a small dramatic dish, a seven-slide Microsoft PowerPoint presentation, and cream.

402. However much these weeter whatchamacallits cost, Mitchell just could not balance the books.

404. Was she making the cake or buying the cake? It was utterly unclear to Cillian. He couldn't ring her. Not again.

405. The police had separated the two groups but were worried Bookers was going to break through. So they took him down.

406. Was Madeleine feeling Foie gras, romance, or a best before? The lad at the till did seem nice so she made a note of it.

407. Oscar tried for the clothing but it was just a faff.

408. Jibby was loved and finally had a seedless, easy-peel cultivar of mandarin orange of Japanese origin that she could believe in. This would be the turning point.

409. In 10 years, it would be completely faded, Ken knew. Just like some of Tutankhamun's sweeties lists.

410. Three pens but four people. Who had contributed nothing to the task? Lord Sugar was not going to be happy. Especially as all Desmond had done was add fish.

411. Only 8% of the list remained but the police were able to identify the pattern. With this, they could solve the case of the decade.

412. Banana's what?! Banana's what?! What was the customer about to take from Banana?

413. Seven and eight were to die. None of that seven eating nine joke stuff. It was serious. It was over for them.

415. Was it Lidl and Aldi? Was it a list and an Aldi poem? Gideon did like poetry. He had won that competition in '83. But this didn't rhyme. Was this what counts as poetry nowadays?!

416. Grapes had tried to sneak in but there was no way the human would buy them. Surely!

417. Just one crisp would have been tight if it wasn't for the multiple dinners on show.

418. The top three teams in the world were seeded. They would now have to wait for the qualifiers to conclude to find out who the fourth would be.

419. Rio knew nothing about domestic cleaning so tried to make some maple throw up.

420. Leonard had broken into the circle business but wouldn't afford to buy out the square just yet.

421. Oil had snuck in. It was so greasy. Always squirming.

422. As Lucille laid down the gammon joint, she knew something was wrong.

424. Gill was an experienced shopper but even she would struggle to find the very concept of a meal. Asking for items that make up a meal was fine, but not this.

425. Nanny H was a born winner. She'd rest now using the ice to cover the injuries while she watched Countdown. Then she would smash Saturday's 60s disco night down at Dukes.

426. Collette had been left a section to fill in herself. Only one this time. Next time, she would get two if she passed.

427. The brackets would not keep Beefy away from the opposition fans. Even after the knife slashing, Sliced Beef was still top boy around here.

428. Time travel was possible, Reginald knew. But just to see Tina's history? Not worth it.

429. Sylvia submitted the design to MoonPig but they weren't interested. She got angry and threw it down in Morrisons.

430. The letter never got anywhere. 13,483 times. Edwin was stood by the postbox for the 13,484th time now.

431. She would ask him to stop doing this when she got back. They were all singular. One of everything. None of this number and cross nonsense for Maxine.

432. Roland picked up a trio of Scottish chickens. He loved it when he could kill two…

433. The home XI had its team down early. The away team was messing about in two groups angering the match officials.

435. The way Alicia read it, it had definitely sounded like "Forget pasta". It definitely did. Definitely. That's what she could tell herself.

436. "Clubs sorted," muttered Mya to herself. The kids would be happy after school now. Then she saw the comma.

437. Kane was a genius when it came to shortening words. Just a shame he forgot where to spray his Lynx Africa.

438. Toilet rolls never belonged with bread. Ever. So what was happening here? In the end, Evangeline used the Andrex for the barbecue.

439. Otis broke the first writing rule when he went sideways. After that, the regulations didn't really matter.

440. Francesca had heard of John West Tuna but not this.

442. Fairy doesn't do washing machines. What was Daphne on about?!

443. Historians to this day still argue whether the tobacco request has a please, P.S., or artist's signature after it.

444. Amir was a player. Three girls. Two bouquets. The other would get cotton wool or a cucumber.

445. In the pink Fiat on the return journey were Phoebe, a couple of managing directors, and poor meal deals.

446. Too many letters were missing. Lawson worked for Royal Mail.

447. Nine small panic attacks later, Tori had it all in the trolley. She screwed it up and threw it to the bottom. There it would stay for days.

448. The editorial features had gone a tad downhill as of late. Nevertheless, Rosalyn was keen to scan over the Cheese interview.

450. Where else?! Where else?! Sonny raged all the way home.

451. Lara was a bit miffed her boyfriend came back with egg juice. She put it in the neighbourhood WhatsApp group so people could come over and see his stupidity.

452. The first five lines had been left for Thea to fill out. But nobody told her.

453. She gave him just one Bag For Life yet Hayden was meant to bring back a telly. Ridiculous.

454. Robin could see where previous lists had been penned. Their imprints were there for everyone to see. No denying.

455. Axl knew he had made a mistake when he unpacked the tinned cheese and eggs.

456. Red Grapes clearly got more attention than the rest. Garlic would try but couldn't be arsed.

457. The whole family was meant to be able to add to it but Micah forgot to BCC it.

458. Rolls, sausage rolls, and Rolls Royce engines. It is all Claude knew.

459. Ice cream was fuming to be on the subs bench again.

461. Milk was out of the picture. Enough said.

462. With milk out of the picture again, Phil was happy to see the sequel but felt the original Bleach's plot would be a hard act to follow.

463. Hope could not find the Eastern European antiperspirant.

464. Bernard had made a feeble effort to destroy the evidence. He had popped out for bread earlier in the morning and could've got the rest then as well.

465. Ezra knew that Br was bromine - a deep red noxious liquid and a member of the halogen elements. But what had that got do with anything?

466. She had experience with cocks but not the females. Lilly tried to Google it but saw things she didn't want to.

467. Elisha got numbers wherever she went.

468. Raymond was happy with his super bacon and average noodles.

469. Clive made it clear there were two sides to every story.

470. Milk had slipped down into the relegation zone. Perennial winner to this. What next?! At least Red Peppers and Celery were in line to qualify for the Chorizo Cup.

471. Commas?! Commas?! Do it vertically, Martina!

472. Grayson had always been good at mathematics. One was only ever smaller than all the other whole numbers. However, maths did not help him when he brought home whiffy eggs and fish.

473. Everything got. Everything! This was the best day for Lexie since she won a million on the Lotto.

474. Technically, you could only ever get something if they had it there. But today was not the day for Sebastian to raise that with her.

475. Zak only liked good bread. Friendly bread. Helpful bread. None of that selfish loaf.

476. What was he prepared to write next to the misspelled biscuits? Was it an annotation? Jesse never corrected himself. Was this to be the first time?

477. Such solid gaps. Maeve always left them for changes but none ever came. She was perfect.

478. This was the worst essay Mr. Moore had ever seen. Harley had done it in the car before the dog nibbled it.

479. It was Lenor not a loner that had been crossed off and ostracised.

480. She wanted hot cross buns. Noel brought home two raging bulls.

481. Milk was now rising up the table. The fans were still on the chairman's back but they were at least picking up points now.

482. UPPER CASE! UPPER CASE! Violet wanted everything in upper case!

484. 30 milks and 29 tiger breads was excessive but it was the only way Scarlett would learn.

485. Dwayne couldn't find them as crisps so smashed the spaghetti up with a rolling pin when he got back.

486. Whatever Samuel did, he just could not get rid of his blown wind atmospherics.

487. Regrettably, Holly saw the Y's flick and mistook it for a slash. The foil could not be found without the tin.

488. Three out of five were C's. If only Bella had requested crusty rolls and Cox's apples.

488. Suzie toured every aisle but she could only see kettle steam. Difficult to grab but pointless anyway as that's not what he asked for.

489. Zak only liked good bread. Friendly bread. Helpful bread. None of that selfish loaf.

490. Why was Carter suddenly altering his dialect?! He probably had not idea what the digit meant. He just wanted to look cool to the grandkids.

491. Raisins on the front and dates on the back.

492. Ted would always shift for members of His Majesty's armed forces.

493. Turns out E45 was not another night club like the one that used to be in Eastenders. Hugo hadn't missed an episode for 17 years.

494. Horses, cats, and dogs. The B side to Gypsies, Tramps and, Thieves.

495. Rylan wasn't even making apple crumble. He just liked them as their own entity.

496. The Post-it Notes were not cutting it anymore for Angus. Time to upgrade.

497. Frankie had been told that curdled milk stank. So she gave it some room.

498. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get a hot meal, it seems.

499. Not cherry! Not cherry! Paloma did not get cherry.

500. One onion, a single broccoli, and a lone nut. It was a lame prep kit but what Shelby requested.